Laughter is a good Medicine

A good laugh always brightens the day

Funny Correspondence Sent to the Family History Department, Salt Lake City, Utah

These are copies of actual correspondence received by the Family History Department.

1. Our 2nd great-grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library.

2. He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

3. I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

4. Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

5. My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

6. We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

7. Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas. Now only the Good Lord knows where it is.

8. The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn--what do you think?

9. I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

10. Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do!

11. I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

12. This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.

13. We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?

14. Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.

15. A 14-year-old boy wrote: "I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in
the U.S., England and Scotland countries? I will do the research."

16. I would like to know how many descendants I really have?

Twisted Definitions

ARBITRATOR: A employee that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.
ANTIBODY: Against everybody
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
BERNADETTE: When you burn up your mortgage papers.
BURGLARIZE: What a crook uses to see.
CONTROL: A short, ugly convict.
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put kitchen cabinets in homes.
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.
GRAMMAR: my mother's mother
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.
PARADOX: Two physicians.
PHARMACIST: A farm helper.
PRIMATE: What you have to do to get your spouse away from the TV.
PROTEIN: In favor of teens
RELIEF: What trees do in the Spring.
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
SUDAFED: What you have done when you have filed a legal case against a government official.
SEMICOLON: Half of a large intestine.
HORSEPOWER: The amount of laryngitis you get when you yell too much.